Relationships-A Mess Worth Making Paperback Author: Visit Amazon's Timothy S. Lane Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0977080765 | Format: PDF, EPUB
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Review
This book is not just another simplistic manual on relationships, offering theoretical methods and procedures for arriving at someone else s idea of a model relationship. Instead, Tim Lane and Paul Tripp have written about Christ crucified the power of God and the wisdom of God for redeeming relationships. Destined to radically transform multitudes of families and friendships, their wisdom is based on the Rock and the Rock is very sound. --U.S. Rep. Bob Inglis (SC-4)
Paul Tripp and Tim Lane bring deep Christ-centered thought and broad counseling experience to their writing, offering fresh hope and practical answers to people in less-than-perfect relationships. Paul and Tim are men who love our Savior, his Word and the Spirit, so it is with the utmost confidence that I always recommend their writing. --Elyse Fitzpatrick, Women Helping Women
About the Author
Tim Lane and Paul Tripp work together at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation in Glenside, Pa., where they counsel and teach. They both have M.Div. and D.Min. degrees and lecture at Westminster Theological Seminary in Glenside. Together they wrote How People Change and lead church-based counseling training courses using CCEFs Transformation Series. Both men were pastors before coming to CCEF Tim in Clemson, S.C. and Paul in Scranton, Pa. Tim and his wife Barbara have two sons and two daughters. Paul and his wife Luella have three sons and a daughter. Paul is also the author of Age of Opportunity, War of Words, Instruments in the Redeemer s Hands, and Lost in the Middle.
Direct download links available for Download Relationships-A Mess Worth Making Paperback
- Paperback: 177 pages
- Publisher: New Growth Press; 1st edition (November 1, 2006)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0977080765
- ISBN-13: 978-0977080762
- Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 0.4 inches
- Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Last week I finished this new book from Resources for Changing Lives-Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. Tim Lane, together with Paul Tripp (author of one of my favorite books, War of Words) tackle the deeper issues involved in relationships in the lives of believers.
Written with a gentle, we're-right-there-with-you tone but also grounded in the authority of Scripture this proved to be a helpful read considering my relationships and the specific ways I need to embrace the power and sufficiency of God's grace to redeem, restore and deepen the quality and purpose of relationships in my own life.
The structure of the book is a little awkward because even though it has two authors they write as one. I was somewhat distracted by this especially when they would tell a personal illustration but not say who's story it was. I was surprised that at the beginning of each chapter they had a lengthy excerpt form a secular song. And I was concerned at the couple of quotes they positively sited from Donald Miller of the Emergent Church movement. The one other hang-up I had was due to the multiple Scripture references quoted from The Message translation.
Overall this was a beneficial read. Perhaps a better book addressing the heart of godly relationships would be Jerry Bridges book The Crisis of Caring: Recovering the Meaning of True Fellowship. However I would still recommend Relationships: A Mess Worth Making and here are some excerpts from my two favorite chapters:
Chapter 5-Agendas
p. 43
The default question we ought to bring to every area of life should be, "What is God's purpose and design? What was his reason for creating this?" When you apply these questions to relationships you begin to see how different his agenda is from your own.
The authors begin their book with "the shortest and most important chapter" which describes their working relationship. To hear it, The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation made a toxic mistake when they placed these two counselors together. Lane and Tripp realized their only hope was to take the prescription they'd given so many of their own clients over the years. They would have to take a biblical prescription. That task was difficult. This chapter gives hope to many who will pick up the book because there's someone in their life that they just can't get along with.
The authors make a compelling biblical case when they say that relationships are worth the pain and trouble they cause. They work through James, Romans, and Ephesians 4 extensively. They also quote C.S. Lewis: "When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."
All relationship problems are a result of sin. Usually that sin takes shape when secondary things are served first. We have many possible idols in our hearts that we prefer to serve over Christ. It could be comfort, pleasure, the demand for recognition, respect, power, control, or acceptance. And some of us choose to live in self-protective isolation while others say they need relationships in order to live.
All relationships require active mercy and forgiveness. To forgive is to choose to bear the cost of the relationship sin on yourself. You can tell how practiced you are in this area by checking your checkbook and your schedule.
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